Some days are just strange and feelings cannot be defined. You do not know whether to laugh or to cry and meander between hope and despair. A day you do not know what to do with yourself.
Today is such a day and it is OK. Escape is not possible and what would be the point anyway.
Write a bit, rest a while and see the thoughts pass. Just look at them and see. It is all needed.
The end of the blues.